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No justification you can think of makes Family Violence okay

Managing Your Anger

Anger can be a difficult emotion for many adults to deal with. But for teens, anger can be even harder to manage because of all the pressures and expectations around growing up. As a young adult, there will be times when you are so angry that just thinking or being told to "Calm down" won't be enough to keep you in control of your anger -- and yourself.

Do you really get the choice to be angry or not? 'Things' make people angry; you don't control all the things that go on around you so getting angry happens. Don't think that the goal is to never be angry, that's not realistic.

Where you do get to choose though is how you express your anger. Once your anger is under control, if the time and place are right, you can think about how you want to express your anger in non harmful and possibly even productive ways.

Take a look at the steps below and think about how you might try to incorporate any one of them, or all of them, when something happens and you get angry:
  1. STOP! This may be the most important step. When you are about to lose control, stop. How can you tell when you are angry? Your voice rises or trembles, your face gets red or feels hot, your forehead throbs, hands shake, jaw tightens, breathing is faster, and you may have difficulty concentrating. You may want everyone to just leave you alone.

  2. THINK about what will happen if you lose control. Don't lead yourself to belief that to show others how angry you really are or were that you have to put on a dramatic display of emotion or lash out at something or someone.

  3. ASK WHY you are angry. Say to yourself, "I am angry because…" Know who you are angry at, as well as why.

  4. REDUCE THE ANGER. Think of all the things you can do to "chill" or calm down. Talking with friends or family. Exercise, ride a bike, take a hike, walk the dog, shoot some hoops or just walking away and counting to 10. As corny or stupid as these things sound they are much better than the alternative of letting your angry take control of you.

  5. REWARD YOURSELF. Don't wait for someone else to reward you for the positive way in which you managed your anger. Praise yourself and think of something you really enjoy that doesn't cost much money as a way of rewarding yourself for a job well done.

If you first use one of the above steps and then another, and another you may find yourself getting along better with your parents, friends, teachers, siblings, and peers.

Sounds simple doesn't it. It can be.

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